the beautiful struggle

"One of the things I am always trying to reject is a false choice between blind optimism and despair and cynicism. What I at least am always after is a hardheaded realism that does not extinguish hope."
--Obama (HAPPY 47th BIRTHDAY)

Isn't that a real quote? In church sometimes the benediction basically prays that we be crazy enough to believe that we can make a difference. The world is insane. My problems? Ha. At the end of the day I get to lay my head down and say, "I've been blessed." I can't even fathom what other people go through. There's no reason I should be where I am, why it's me and not the next person. How can you not look at something like that and not have infinite hope? But at the same time, when you face pure evil, in it's sickest, most wretched form how do you not have infinite disappointment? All in the same day. I pray to not be desensitized, to not allow myself to belief the word's standards are acceptable, normal, or fathomable. It's not easy. My coworker jokes about my company "brainwashing" the interns by letting us live lavishly for a summer. But aren't we brainwashed everyday? Aren't we forced to face disappointment, rejection, sadness, and deception day in and day out like that's what this life is about? How do you keep your eyes to the skies? I'm doing that all questions no answers thing again. But, really, there is a fine line between reality and despair. Is it better to hold onto a false hope or to numb yourself to the pain of the world? Where would the Lost Boys be if they just gave up hope? If they saw the worst atrocities imaginable and said, "oh, well, that must be it?" I could give a million examples but it's just going to take away from my conclusion: "Give the world the best you have and you may get hurt. Give the world your best anyway." Mother Theresa.

"We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope." --MLK Jr.

Courtney, "Court-nay D-Sha," "Juice," "King James'" death remains unsolved. His gravestone was recently put in place and still we grieve like it just happened with a sadness that may never subside. If you know anything, hear anything, I don't care if you have a premonition in the night: call 713-222-TIPS. Shouts to Cori Lemonhead for the linkage on the 'book.

"I try to pick the right words to say to the sky
Some days i would try but wasn't able to cry
I never been good at saying goodbye
I take a deep breath when the times is hard....
When I reminisce over you, my God...."